I was in such a rush to leave the city yesterday and get back to nature and see my parents My father had a big smile on his face when i arrived and I felt better The city after a while felt dirty to me and people seemed to be texting like robots and love was becoming the four letter word nobody wanted to say I needed to be around the love between my parents that created me My father and i sat down at the table in the kitchen and had a real heart to heart about my projects and my friendships Only he knows how long I have tried to work at achieving more than just a higher education and I told him there were mostly good friends in my life and that i have been getting better at editing out folks that bring no love and misery We also talked about the fact that I love how all of my work and collab’s have a humanitarian impact …this is what makes creativity “real” He and I also talked about relationships and how folks are so afraid to really love and have family
he told me well u have to know how to read folks from the jump if they are about just themselves and not into growing together supporting one another and if they are not confident in themselves u need to nurture your gifts and projects and think of your overall well being and health and create distance
He is so super cool at moments..then we drove to the supermarket and i picked up some food to cook dinner for him and my mother we also went out to the farm to pick up fresh veggies and sweet corn..This morning they are in the bedroom cracking jokes about me and my holistic ways Today I will be shucking corn and making a nice dinner and homemade apple crisp..alot of work but they are both well worth it..they have shown me how to love by loving each other and staying in it for all these years
Would you know when the higher power sends you a seed of life a blessing an answered prayer…or would the feeling totally overwhelm your heart with waaay too many reasons to let go would you think of …loosing this beauty this divine message of love and never tasting it again….?????
two people walk on the beach and tell each other their story why here with whom and whats real in their hearts what they have prayed for and how they dream… across the water you can see the shores of africa and fisherman and boats and nature bites all around them…they have escaped the clutches of the concrete and at that moment they know what they can and need to do ancestors dancing all around them for they have found each other again after all these generations and sit still to feel and remember remember
these are hard times and everybody is not so sweet in the world..you smile and they think u want something..nobody really trust a good soul for the bad ones have left scars on their memories and our own procreation has been kidnapped and twisted by the media we dress to catch an eye and forget whats inside we run from love and into the deep depths of meism and when we turn around the one that had the love for us has found family and we stand alone in a sea of people screaming me me me me me then u cant utter a word you are standing there trying to scream us but u cant say it you cant say us you cant say love you cant say I I I I Love you because you have been programed not to trust not to be honest..You die inside slowly and watch all the wes and us walk by…
but that couple…they are still there on the shores of africa with the ancestors planting seeds of life all around them chanting “courage move grow ” a dream a dream to catch before it flys away like a kite
woke up this morning…feeling grateful and well rested…I am shooting or my girl is shooting part of my script as well as directing me…a text comes through from a dear friend that reads…”Make it happen Maluwa”…thanks to all the friends that know this has been a long road of creativity but I have worked hard to get here and today i honor the ancestors through my work I honor them for my life and I thank them for bringing more pure hearts and honest people into my life
Yesterday I walked and worked out to new tracks from a very nice producer Friday I am in the studio recording on tracks from two producers and Saturday one of my brilliant film making friends will be shooting me and part of my script I am looking forward to working with such talented people and grateful
Last night right before I went to sleep I asked a good friend of mine how often did he tell his X that he loved her…he said every day so she would know every day… I texted him back about how funny it is that folks go around not saying I Love you they make love or say good bye and never leave the person with those three simple words…Anything could happen anything …then I fell asleep Bamb! I was knocked out but dreaming about walking past this old lady that I saw during the day she was saying..”there just isn’t enough love in the world….there just isn’t enough love in the world”
then I heard Maluwa Maluwa are you sleeping..in this same old womans voice…I thought is someone trying to wake me up or is it all a dream..then I woke up and saw my landlord at the bedroom window…I said I am awake…She asked Maluwa do u smell gas..I didnt she came around and she didn’t but we called the gas company anyways..She said she was thinking about me before she went to sleep and how I was having problems with my stove and she said..” I am going to treat you just like I do my children”…I thought hmmm there is love in the world
Remember when that person doesn’t say hi back to you or that lover can not look into your eyes every time you are together and say they love you and when your friends arent being supportive of your artistic endeavors but just telling you to hang out and not be productive and when you have given and given love and encouragement but you get nothing back…remember that some where there is love just for you and u deserve to be told….I LOVE YOU and in return you can say I LOVE YOU TOO I most definately do not want to be with anybody if they cant tell me they love me when I am in their arms..i would rather be by myself ….it feels plastic any other way
That guy that left the message on my phone Jesus…like I was born yeterday
I am waiting on my king the one who knows whats important in life…the other stuff will not be the roots that keep you grounded in this maze the other stuff is just a small part of the human experience that the higher powers has set forth for us i met up with some music folks the other day I really dragged myself there but damb I was tired and slightly dizzy but drank alot of water and was almost back on track..it was cool a couple of folks came up to me all warm and introduced me to more folks i have been looking for drummers and low and behold there were some there As the sun started to go down I felt so was I if I did not get my ass to bed so I moved through the streets just thinking all in due time just focus and i needed to be held and I need to be with a brother who knows that my work is not in Vain and I am down for making something better for some person child or even touch a soul…I spoke to my father on the train and said i appreciated his ear and I appreciated his support in my artistic persuits and that i feel that that some men and women can’t love each other enough…well he said it …before I could say it “somethings coming Maluwa” and I knew I wasn’t wrong because he is just as spiritual as I am and he said …”focus on what you came to New York to do and it will all fall into Place.”
We tend to complain alot as humans…what we do not have where we do not live and whom we should be with the right job the right clothes the right the right…but this keeps us living in the future and our blessings may be right in front of our faces ….blessings we choose to dismiss and overlook for that shiney thing over there… why because we have finally become cogs in the machine..in the matrix
over worked attention seeking workaholics
tell someone today that they mean more to you than your damb career before its too late tell someone that its about us and not about me before its too late before that sunshine is forever gone from your life
Sometimes we become so blinded by what is glittering out there on the horizon in the distance and we walk towards it so fast to take a look that we forget about the blessings standing right next to us and then we get close to it that glittery thing and find nothing but an empty tin can that the sun just hit so right then we turn around to look back and our blessing is gone
but then the higher power will always reward the ones that know the truth…
my phone has a message from a man that I turned away over and over over and over again..because I am busy and more
i check it…not again i think but but wait… I listen
Remember this…. A good man is hard to find and if you believe in the lord by God you believe in something good Meeting me is one of the best things I dont run the streets I take care of my biz walk my dog and come home …dedicating yourself to me would be the greatest thing for you and guess what? when i saw you you inspired me and I like that but if you gonna pass on something that comes once in a lifetime thats your call but if you follow up on it then you’ll achieve one of the best things in your whole entire life and i know you work hard to achieve alot there are many wealthy people that still die poor cause they have no love…so the choice is yours and thats all I got to say
click
funny how people get an attitude when you have to buckle down and get sh done I wish I came to NYC to just chill but nope I am an adult with bills to pay and dreams to dream and it aint going to happen with me sitting on my booty Anyways i was a bit sick the other day from the heat and over doing it Hell my father always said I go at it hard…life that is.. My mind is always clicking and ideas are always popping and I am just so excited about the cool ass folks that I am working with on these projects We shoot part of the script soon and it feels so good to be here in spite of the fucked up economy You have to be a warrior out here a tiger a lion in the midst of the jackles If you come across an individual that does not know “focus” well you know the deal…keep it movin cause if you work has any impact on the world like little ripples across the lake of life ….you must do your work as an artist as a healer
I know the next few months will be some sh for me cause I have to really put my nose to the grindstone and most importantly …I am collaberating with friends and if I am not holding my own that makes them look at me like huh? Life is challenging but life can be sweet if you just stay focused…Pretty soon I am going deep very deep into my muse meaning I will not be as available….embracing my muse is also about embracing myself and releasing something into the universe and i can’t live or shine without that
Its hot as hell in NYC and I have a fire burnig inside that could wipe out a whole forest…playing it cool real cool I stop my cardio to drink water and 3 different men approach me at different times trying to get in some bullshit rap Waay too hot for this shit today small empty words rolling off their drooling tongues like dirty hungry junk yard dogs in heat Every doggie is looking for some pussy cat and every pussy looking for a dog with a Bone This kitty is waiting for only one pure breed that will make her purrr while she scratches his back…in the mean time she just looks at these dogs and hisses
Last few days i went to a music seminar one of JZ’s friends put me on the list..good soul It was fun met some good folks and gave out info and a song Alot of real folks there… very few pretenders
Pretenders hmmm been thinking about that alot….how folks run around afraid to be themselves…most importlantly afraid to embrace love…love is nothing to be afraid of maybe the loss of it but as a really good friend told me if you are the least bit afraid u might as well as be dead One must not throw away or abuse or take for granted the love and kindness of a person for this is the devines way of telling you you are blessed and you throw away the higher powers blessings and trust? oh yes trust In this life time you are lucky to count the friends you have on one hand…the ones that really have your back.. a place to stay a meal an ear when you feel that world is a big plastic dildo constantly coming at yah…Alot of people are vampires and what they realy want..well they don’t even know everyone is telling them what turns them on sex..money drugs and attention but that shi will turn u out and before you know it the diamond you had in your hand is no longer there and you are surrounded by mannequins with pretty plastic faces and nice bodies spitting lies and broken promises at you through texting and emails…We need to be touched ..We are human …touch somebody today…and I don’t mean with your hands…but with your heart
The other day I was back in the Matrix…did extra work on the set of Law and Order It was cool but I needed a moment of reality after that….anywhooo I have been working on alot of different projects these days All have been dreams of mine and I am working with other folks on these projects …feeling very honored by them taking the time for I see them to be extremely gifted in what they do I just finished my first script and my friend convinced me to do this and this other gifted sister is shooting part of it with me acting in it i also put in a proposal for a book dealing with young black men issues and I just met with a good friend of mine that started her own publishing company about editing my book and she agreed Last but not least I am starting to record again The beauty of all of this fills my heart with smiles for all the work comes from a humanitarian approach and there is hope in the world when artist can create push and work together to bring voice to those that may not be heard..there is also plenty of Love ….aaaah yes Love
